2016-12-07 / Front Page

All You Ever Wanted To Know About Santa

By Liz Goff
Just who is Santa Claus? Why, he’s the proprietor of the North Pole Toy Workshop, someone beloved by people of all shapes and sizes. He’s an animal lover – and he has a better record of on-time deliveries than the U.S. Post Office.

There is no record of Santa’s birth, but he is believed to be approximately 1,551-years-old or as he once said, “I’m as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth.”

During rare conversations with parents in Queens, Santa admitted to a weight problem, and said he has no plans to diet, and said he possesses an uncanny ability to know who’s been naughty and who’s been nice.

Santa is recognized as a citizen of the world with full freedom of the skies, but his national heritage is often questioned. He acknowledges Greek, Italian, Dutch, English, German and Russian influences in his background.

Santa frequently uses the names Kris Kringle, St. Nick, or others when questioned, and says his favorite things about Queens are the “thousands of lights that fill the borough during the holiday season. Santa describes Christmas in Queens as “a special time for young and old alike, a joyous time filled with magic.”

Santa says he has just a few gripes about Queens. “Rudolph, the boys and I can handle the traffic over LaGuardia Airport, the many highways and shopping centers,” he said. “But squeezing down those tiny chimneys is an urban nightmare. Apartment buildings would be a lot more convenient if the reindeer would fit in the elevators and on staircases,” Santa said.

Call him Father Christmas, Kris Kringle, Santa Claus or Old St. Nick, but never doubt the wonder and happiness Santa brings to this most magic of seasons.

 

 

 

 

 

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