THE SAVVY SENIOR
Ethical Wills

Dear Savvy Senior,

Can you tell me about ethical wills and how to do one? I recently learned about them in a magazine article but I don't know where to start. What can you tell me? Willing and Able

Dear Willing:

An ethical will may be the most meaningful and cherished gift you could ever give your family - and something you'll enjoy doing too. Here's what you should know.

Ethical Wills

While a traditional will tells your loved ones (and the legal world) what you want them to have, an ethical will (which is not a legal document) tells them what you want them to know. In an ethical will, you can share with your family and friends your personal values and beliefs, life's lessons and wisdom, hopes and dreams for the future, love, forgiveness and more. There are no rules on length-it can be anything from a letter to a memoir. And if you're having trouble writing it down on paper you can hire a professional ethical will writer to help you, or you can speak your wishes into a tape recorder or have someone video tape you.

Why Write One?

Ethical wills are nothing new (dating back 3,000 years), but their popularity has increased in recent years. The reasons for writing one will vary, but for most people the process of putting one together is very satisfying and even therapeutic. Some reasons you may want to consider writing an ethical will could be:

+ To tell your story (or untold story) and express what's important to you.

+ To pass along your values, lessons and advice to your children and grandchildren.

+ To give information about the money you're passing on and your hopes for what it will accomplish.

+ To give details about your personal

Getting Started

If you think sitting down to write your ethical will seems a little daunting, you're not alone. With so many memorable life experiences, lessons learned (or not) and valuable advice you'd like to leave behind, it's hard to know where to start. Here are some simple questions that may help you get your wheels turning:

+ What do you want your loved ones to know?

+ What are the lessons that you've learned in life? + What are you most proud of? + What are your biggest regrets?

+ What are your spiritual beliefs?

+ What will you miss most when you are gone?

+ Who is the most important person in your life and what did you learn from them?

+ If you only had a year left to live, what would you do?

Getting Help

If you need some help, or would like to hire a professional to help you put your ethical will together here are some Web resources to look into:

+ Ethical Wills (www.ethicalwill.com): Offers practical information and how-to recording ethical wills. Prices will vary depending on the services you want. They also offer "The Wealth of Your Life" ($19.95) a 40-page, step-by-step guide for creating your ethical will.

+ LifeBio (www.lifebio.com): A resource that can help you create your life's story by providing an organized, thought-provoking list of life questions and materials.

+ Association of Personal Historians (www.personalhistorians.org): A trade association that offers a nationwide directory of professionals who specialize in writing ethical wills.

Savvy Tips: Many people choose to share their ethical will with their family and friends while they're still living so they can enjoy their reactions, while others think it should be read after their death. It's up to you. Also, be sure to keep a copy of your ethical will with your legal documents for safekeeping.

Send your senior questions to: Savvy Senior, P.O. Box 5443, Norman, Oklahoma 73070, or visit www.savvysenior. org. Jim Miller is a regular contributor to the NBC Today Show and author of the book, The Savvy Senior.